Monday, July 30, 2012


I sat there awaiting in the doctor's office. One of my hands fiddled with the zipper on my jacket while the other absentmindedly rubbed my belly. I was close to 2 months pregnant. I was only sixteen I knew I couldn't take of no kids plus the father was a fucking dead beat wouldn't even claim it. Also I didn't want to disappointment my mama. She already has too much on her plate. 
" Onika Maraj the doctor may see yo know", the nurse at the desk called out.
I was knocked out of my thoughts. She lead my to the back room into the abortion area. She gave me some clothes to change in for the procedure. 
I as I changed my thoughts raced every which way.

Can I kill him or her?

I am not God so do I have the right to kill this my baby?
Can I leave with myself?

What would my mother say?

A tear fell from my face. Then there was a small knock on the bathroom door. 
" Ms. Maraj the doctor is ready for you now".
I took a deep breathe and mad my decision.

I woke up a cold sweat. Fresh tears stained my face. I was taken back. I looked around the room to see that I was not in the hotel but in the hospital. My clothes where changed into medical scrubs and my body was hooked up this huge machine.

" How the hell did I get here ?" , I thought to myself.

My question was answer when my eyes landed on him. He shifted in his sleep signaling that he was about to wake up. The sun hit his beautiful eyes making them shine. 

" You're awake you've been sleep for about 3 weeks now and-", I cut him off in mid sentence.

Even though he brought me here didn't mean I trust him.

" Look not to be rude or anything but  I don't trust you okay? It seems like every time your around my ass always ends up in hot water and your no where to be found. So you could do my a favor and just leave".

" Look I know your confused right now but just let me explain myself ", he begged.

I shook my head like a stubborn child. " FUCK NO! It's probably because of you is why I'm in here", I have screamed making my throat burn.

" Look Nicki just let me explain -"

I tore my eyes away from him as the door handle began to move and the doctor walked in.

" Good Afternoon Ms. Maraj I'm glad that you've woken up your where in a coma for about almost a month. And you too Mr. Graham. You need to thank this man Onika he saved your life even gave you his blood. 

I looked over to Drake and saw anger and sympathy wash over his face. 

" I'm happy that your feeling better and everything we still got to run a few more test on you to make sure your body is functioning", he continued. " But umm Ms. Maraj I have to some bad news ... " He looked down at his chart as I bit my lips nervously.

 " Let's see due to massive blood lose, injury to the lower stomach, and stress you had a miscarriage you lost your baby I'm sorry".

Saturday, July 28, 2012


I could feel my body began to succumb to the pain. I felt my body go through the pain right into the numbness. My throat was on fire from the screaming I was doing earlier. My eyes where blurred by the tears that where still storming down my face. I felt a sharp pain coming from my lower abdomen.The pain was excruciating and all I wanted to down was scream in agony but my throat and my mind where not in the same place. So I sat there as the calm darkness welcomed me tired body.

My eyes fluttered open because I felt a touch of heat hit my eyelids. I opened my eyes slowly checking my surroundings. They soon popped open because I was not in the same place as I was once before no. I was in the middle of white nothingness. All there was was a warm light and whiteness. I looked down to see that my body had on a beautiful night gown and I was bare foot. Also my body felt like it was completely calm no trace of pain or tiredness. My body was revamped. I scanned the place for any sign of life but there was nothing. I sunk down into the spot I once laid on and cried another set of tears....


"What do you mean she's been missing for a couple of days", I half screamed.

Her body jumped out my kind of rough tone. I took a few short breathes and put my body at ease. I decided to approach her in a more nicer tone.

" Look uh...." Lee'Lee", she answered. " Well look Lee'Lee you have to tell me any information or the where a bouts that On- I mean Nicki might be", I stated.

She thought a quick second before she spoke. " Nobody in our little group , the streets, or her associates have seen her, not even mama Carol", she said above a whisper.

I slide my hands over my hand of frustrations setting in on my mind.

I just saw her a couple days ago... I kissed her a couple of days. She was fine and full of life. Maybe I shouldn't of left her maybe this is all my fault. I swear if she's  dead..I don't what'll do..
Somethings not adding up here....

"Umm sir...HELLO.... Yo yellow boy what is your named", she screamed trying to get my attention.

I shook my head of my thoughts and stuck out my hand , " My bad ma, my name is Drake."

She shook. I stared right in her eyes to see her realizations of who I really am started to show. Her eyes damn near bugged out. " You're you- ".

" Yeah I know I'm his son but we gotta cut this talking shit short we gotta go so go get yo stuff " , I ordered.

She nodded her head and flew upstairs just to come running back down in less than 5 minutes flat.

" You ready?", I asked.

" Yeah but how do we know where to look for her", she questioned me.

" I think I might have an idea".


I sat there as I poured my soul on to the  beautiful white floor. ' Am I dead ? Is this place you come to after your body is no longer with the leaving?'

" No ", a beautiful angelic child like voice answering my inner thoughts.

"Who-Whose there", I stuttered.

" Did you already forget about me mommy ? ", the voice asked me coming into view of me.

My air got caught into my throat as a beautiful child who looked like to be 3 or 4 years old approached me. The face I stared at look like my own. His beautiful hair was like mine also his faint dimples where like mine. His father's features also showed from his hazel eyes and little ears. His skin tone was from the both of us. 

I felt a soft touch like a feather caress the side of my face. " Mommy don't cry can't you see that I'm right here", he said . 

I grabbed his tiny hand to see if he was real and he was. I picked him up in the quickness and cradle his smile body against mines. 

"You don't how long I've wanted to actually do that ", I sobbed out. 

" Since the day you decided to give me to God", he stated. 

I closed my eyes as the flash back of me in the hospital clutching my stomach after I go the abortion. I felt so empty so useless. I cried for weeks maybe even months. Everyday on it's birthday I would buy a cake celebrating it' could've been birthday.

Tears began to flow out of my face. I don't see how I could be crying so much. 

" I soo--sorryyy baby mommy didn't mean to let you die I wanted you to be here with my right if I could turn-".

He put his hand up to stop my apologizes. 

" God had another plan for you and me mommy. He wanted me to come home mommy. He knew that you he was doing with you and I . He has chosen another path for the both of us. " he spoke.

" But baby boy mommy's you so much why would God want to talk you away from me", I questioned. 

" Please mommy don't question God he has his reason he knew what he was doing he has chosen another path for your life but you have to be willing to live up to the sacrifices. "

" So are like my guardian angle or.."

" No I am not am your life line back to sanity and also to God. I am the person you look to when you are at your lowest and in you darkest I am you beacon of hope ".

My eyes grew big. 

" Mommy you have to stop what your doing because if you don't I will not be here to save you like I use to and neither will your guardian angel".

"What do yo mean you won't be here... Are you saying you'll leave me", my voice cracked.

" Let's just say once you are gone I'm gone as well".

I breathed in trying to soak up this new info I just received. Then my mind went back to my guardian angel.

" So I have a guardian angel right", I asked.

He nodded. 

" Well will they help me through this process or new mission in my life?".

" Yes only if let them you can't keep your guard up forever mommy".

" Well mommy I have to go our father is calling me back home to him".

I shook my head and hugged him tighter, " I don't want you to leave me in this place by myself".

" Mommy you are not dead your in between the world of the living and the dead".

" So am I going to live".

" I don't I don't have all the answer only God knows", his voice began to get low in tone.

His began to disappear until he was no more

But he didn't leave with out saying 'I love you mommy always and forever'.


I'll be posting the next chapter soon until next time- Milli 

Friday, July 20, 2012

Can Anybody hear Me?

I stood there in shock. Trying to comprehend what just happened.

He ....Kissed? But why and he said was here to protect from what?

My question flew out the door when I heard a loud ignorant knock on my hotel. Now who the fuck can this be I thought to myself.  I didn't even think of looking in the peep hole thinking it was Drake. I opened and my eyes bugged the fuck out.

" Hey Nicki you miss me ", he spat in a rough tone.

My feet felt like they where planted to floor as he moved from around me into my suite. I stood in that spot until he spoke again.

"Well is yo ass just gonna stand there are you gonna make me have to come over there", he growled. I rolled my eyes and slowly walked over to the king size bed he wa sitting on. Once  I made it over there he snatched me and locked me into a bone crushing bear hug.

I screamed in pain my lungs felt like there where going to burst. " I CAN'T BREATHE NIGGA", I screeched. The more I moved the more pain I brought I soon slipped into the welcoming darkness.


My whole body was aching . I  had pain shooting inbetween my legs. I felt my body being jerked up and down. I opened my eyes but immediately shut them. The lights blinded me. I slowly opened them and saw a horrid picture before me.

He huge body casted a shadow over my petite one. I tried to scream but throat was dry and scroaching. So I just sat there and indured the pain that planked me so far ago.

After what seemed like hours he finally nutted and got off me. He rolled over to my left side and turned face to face with. He hands caressed my face. My whole body tensed up.

He had a sly smirk on his face ", Baby you knew you should of stayed with me you knew you where no match for me", he laughed in my face.

Hot tears began to escape from my eyes. He wiped them away with his thumbs. " Don't cry baby King is right here for you baby", he said softly.

I finally mustarded up enough strength to utter a word. " I. hate. you", I spat.

He smile left and a scowl formed on his face. He gripped my chin almost crushing with he big bear hands. " What did you say to me Onika", he semi-yelled.

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and repeat myself. I soon felt a sharp pain on my face. He slapped me hard blood trickled down my lip,

" I suggest you choose your words lightly with me Nic you'll be dead sooner than you think", he retorted.

I rolled my eyes as he got up and began putting his clothes back on. He took the 9 out of his waist belt and pointed it straight it at my heart. " See Nic I could take yo life away just like that", he said as he cocked the gun to the side.

I my eyes where clouded by my tears. He crawled back into bed with and cradled me like a child. It almost felt like he really cared.


Lee'Lee POV

I called Nic's phone for the hundreth time still no answer I was getting worried she is NEVER away for this long and if she was staying  longer she would of called me. I know I'm the youngest but me and Nic have a special bond she is sorta like a mother to me.

I sat on my contemplating my next move when I heard the front door from downstairs open up. I rushed down stairs almost breaking my neck. I running soon came to halt as soon as I saw a man standing in the kitchen looking through the fridge.

I tip toed hoping he wouldn't hear me but it was a epic fail. He caught as soon as I took my first step into teh kitchen.

We just stared at each other sizing each other up and might I say he was gorgeous, but that's not the point in why he was here.

" Ummm who are you and how do you have a key to Ms.Maraj's house", I blurted out.

He smiled at me and it was warm. " I'm friend and you are", he questioned me.

I put my hands on my hips " I'm a close friend".

"Oh well do you know where she is we really need to talk".

"I have no clue she hasn't been home in days", I shut my mouth and regret what I said.

He whole demeanor changed. He face washed with worriness . " What do you mean she hasn't been home in days", he stated.

" I think I said to much".

" No you have to tell me she might be in danger or something", he exclaimed.

Could I really trust him?


I sat there in my own pool of  blooding wishing that he would just kill me already. My body felt like it was beginning to shut down. And I wasn't fighting it I wanted this I knew this life would end up getting me killed. I guess my mother was right....


I might make this into a two parter I dunno yet? Posting sooner than ya think- Milli

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Say what's real

I dug my nails into his back. 

He strokes went deeper inside of me.

I could feel him in the pit of my stomach.

I tried to muffle my screams and moans by biting my bottom lip but I failed terribly.

" Baby I wanna hear you scream my name", he went even deeper inside of me.

I could feel my juices flow out of my onto his dick.

I arched my back and dug my nails into the satin sheets.

A tear fell from my face. 

The pleasure and the pain washed over my body.

He strokes kept getting longer and deeper.

I could feel my teeth break the skin of my lip.

" Nicki I wanna hear you scream my name bae", he spoke again.

" Ahhh Fuck...", my rolled to the back of my head as he went deeper.

" That's it Nic let all your screams out let daddy hear it".

I felt my legs shake.

I could feel him grow inside of me. My walls began to suffocate his dick.

He started to pick up speed.

" Say it Nicki out loud", he groaned in my ear.

" Ohhhhh ahhhh Drakkkeeeeeeeeee", I screamed out.


"Nicki Nicki Nickiiiii", somebody said throwing me out of my sexual trance.

Man being sexually frustrated is not doing me any good. I soon see a 2 fingers in a pair of black gloves snapping in my face. I rolled my eyes.

" And why is your hand in my face?", I said rudely.

" Well Boss yo ass was over there stuck in La La Land again for like the 3rd time we've been making stops, like wassup with you? You've never been this distracted before."

I have know clue why I've been getting thrown off like this, and him out of all people. Its like this nigga is stuck in my mind 24/7 and I can't shake him. And its really bothering me.

I breathed in a heavy sigh", Nothing okay , let's just make this stop so I can go meet up at this Hotel".

I sank back in my seat trying to shake him out of my thoughts, but soon I hear Darell ask me another damn question.

" What you say Rell?".

" Oh know you listen uh", he said with base in his voice. I know this nigga is not trying to play with me." I suggest you lower yo voice or my size 4 J's will be up yo ass and you'll be rocking a bullet in chest".

" Okay shessh Nic but why are you going to a hotel specially if you know King is out to get ya ass, shouldn't you be hiding out at yo get away house?"

Oh so now people care about my safety. Where were they when that nigga was literally beating my ass everyday for 3 fucking years. I shook my head of the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

" Look Rell don't worry about me I can hold my own , just worry about going in there and dropping off the last of the product", I said as we pulled up to a abandoned warehouse way out in the boonies.

He sighed heavily. I know he tries to care but I don't need anybody to care for me but me and my family. I don't need love fuck it , it almost got me killed.


I sat in a bathtub full of roses and bubbles in the pent house suite in the Marriot. I come here every other week so I can stay as sane as I am. My mind was all over the place to King to my Drake. I don't why he even floods my mind I mean I saw the ring on his finger he ain't fooling nobody.

I just wanna know why he's taking so much interest in me. Like why you popping up in my life know.

I decided to do some snooping. I got out of the tub put my fluffy pink toil on. I decided to let my hair air dry to I put some moose in it and put it into a sloppy top pony tail. I dried my body off and lotioned my body and put on my PINK pajamas. 

I pulled my pink theme MAC notebook out of my mini LV suite case. I crawled in the king sized bed and wait for it to load up. 

As I was just about to google ole' boy name there was a knock at my door.

My first instinct was to grab my Nina which I do. I turned down all the lights and crept to the door slowly. I stood on my tippy toes and looked out of the peep hole. 


I opened the door cautiously until it was fully open. " And how the hell did you find me?"

" Damn baby girl is that how you treat everybody when you open the door", he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes as he once again brushed past me into my suite.

" And is that what you do just waltz into people homes and just make yo self comfortable", I retorted.

But he didn't saying anything instead he was scanning on what I was wearing. My cheeks soon became rosy red.  I quickly walked past him and put on one of the hotel's robes.

" So are you going to explain to me why your hear do I have to get it out the hard way".

A smirk rose on his face. " Do what you please bae".

I scoffed oh my goodness this guy is a pig. " I suggest ya put ya dick back in yo pants you ain't get none of this", I said raising my hands showing off my body.

" Never say never", he mumbled.

" Plus yo little wife or fiance wouldn't like", I stated, he looked at the gold ring on his wedding finger" Yeah you thought I didn't notice but I did you ain't slick boy". He looked my up and down and walked over to me . 

He licked his lips ", And who said I was trying to be slick Ms. Maraj?"

I was too stuck on his pinks lips to actually answer the question. I could feel his heat radiating everywhere around me. I could feel my face inch closer to his.

I felt his lips brush against mines just as we where about to kiss BAM ! The door flew open.


"THE FUCK IS THIS AUBREY", a pretty woman yelled. I could feel his body tense up on me. I looked up and to see his eyes still looking at me and ignoring the woman who was talking reckless.

He breathed in a heavy sigh, he looked into my eyes apologetically. He move from around me and went to the screaming woman.

" The fuck you doing here Alicia didn't I tell yo ass to not interfere with my fucking work", he spoke sternly.

The fuck did he mean his work, was I his job or something.

I stayed quiet and let the answer unfold before my eyes.

" Well Aubrey I see yo work was interfering with our personal life and our wedding so I came here to put a whole stop to this little affair", she exclaimed.

I chuckled at her with the fuck did she mean by little affair, I just this man not even a few days ago.

Her eyes crossed mines and she mugged the shit out of me or atleast tried to.

" Do we have a problem bitch", she said to me.

I laughed once and again this bitch must not have heard of me.

" The only problem I see is yo ass", I smiled.

Her nostrils was flaring and body was shaking like bitch you doing the fuck most it's not like me and Drake was fucking the whole time. Drake broke the tension. 

" Listen Alicia go wait back in the car and I'll be down there in a minute ", he spoke calmly.

She huffed but listen to his wishes and left but now before mugging me again. I rolled my eyes I wish the bitch would've tried me her brains would've been all over this room.

Me and Drake sat here awkwardly. I decided to speak first. I cleared my throat" Listen I don't what you want from me , but just leave me alone okay I have enough shit on my plate I don't need you and ya dumb ass broad getting into my Mix alrite!"

 He walked over to me and hugged me. My first reaction was to stiffen up but my body ease into his hug. 

He spoke to me softly, " I don't how to explain this but I'm here to protect you".

I broke from the hug but I was still in his arms. I looked at him questionably " What do you mean your hear to protect look I'm a big girl I can ta-". I was cut off by his soft lips crushing mines.
I felt heat thrash through my body. I moaned into his kiss. His hands slipped down waist to my ass. His squeezed it lightly. I moaned again and allowing his tongue to invite his way into my mouth.

It seemed like we where kissing for hours, but it was mere minutes. He broke the kiss and just left me there awe - struck....again.

Here you go lovely's I know I had yall waiting but I got yall plus I think I might give yall a preview for the Young Love fan fic. But anyways DRICKI Was reunited in LONDON !! That shit brought my spirits back!!! P.S stop threatening me VIA blog and twitter people *side eyes Kiara*